


this could be worth the risk

by elenamichaels



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Not Hockey Player(s), Kid Fic, Life As We Know It AU, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-20 06:23:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5994717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elenamichaels/pseuds/elenamichaels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You know what you’re doing here yet?”</p><p>Jonny looks between Seabs and the giggling child he has his arms around and smiles. “No clue.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	this could be worth the risk

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cherryvanilla](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryvanilla/gifts).



> This is an AU based on the movie Life As We Know It, so a warning for minor character death of the parents, who are both original characters. Title is from "Give Me A Try" by The Wombats.
> 
> And to my recipient: this was my first time writing for these two and I had a lot of fun with it, so I hope you enjoy it!!

_SPRING_

 

It’s too late for his phone to be ringing, that’s the first thing that goes through Jonny’s head. His hand shoots out from underneath the covers and he fumbles around on the bedside table until he grabs ahold of his phone. He glances down at the screen as he brings the phone up to answer it and he frowns when he sees Seabs' name there. Seabs definitely shouldn’t be calling him this late.

“Hello?” There’s nothing but quiet for a long beat and Jonny almost hangs up.

“Jon,” Seabs' voice breaks as he says his name, and Jonny has never woken up faster in his life.

He has to go to the hospital. Two of his best friends were in a car accident. It’s serious. He makes sure he has phone, keys, wallet and then he’s out the door.

The waiting room is quiet beyond the sound of low voices when Jonny enters. He looks around and there’s Seabs, looking worse than Jonny’s ever seen him, and they’ve seen each other through some pretty messy situations. It’s only been a couple of months but he seems bigger than Jonny remembered him and somehow smaller all at once, even though Jonny knows that’s not possible. He’s bent over the desk, talking back and forth with the nurse who is sitting there.

He considers hanging back, waiting until they’re done, but no he should go ahead and find out if they’ve had any updates since he talked to Seabs on the phone. He’s never been a big fan of hospitals anyway, so he knows he’ll feel better if he can find something to do.

“Hey,” he says quietly when he’s standing just behind Seabs.

Seabs breaks off in the middle of whatever he was saying to the nurse and turns around to greet him. “Jonny, hey,” His arms come up and he pulls Jonny in for a hug. “I’m glad you’re here.” 

Jonny nods against him. He hates that he’s here because of something like this but he’s glad that it’s with someone like Seabs at least. Jonny loves all of his friends, but some of them can be idiots, if he’s being nice about it.

“Any updates?” Jonny asks as they pull back.

“No, not really. They’ve checked Katie out and said everything seems fine, but they’re probably going to observe her overnight anyway. We’re still waiting on the doctor to come back with an update on Dylan and Catherine.”

Jonny nods. Katie’s fine, that’s good. But if they’re still waiting on Dylan and Catherine, then there really is nothing he can do and he hates that.

The nurse sitting behind the desk, Megan, the nameplate displays helpfully, suddenly speaks up and leans forward. “I was just telling your friend we really won’t know anything until the doctor does come back out, but someone can take you to go see Katie if you’d like.”

Jonny looks over at Seabs a little hopefully. Seeing a kid that small in a hospital can never feel remotely okay, but it might be nice to actually be able to see her and know that she is okay, and he doesn’t really want to do it alone. And it does sound better than just sitting in that waiting room.

Seabs meets his eyes for a moment before saying, “Yeah, okay. We can do that.”

 

The first time Jonny met Seabs, they were both a little drunk, standing around in a frat house packed with too many underage college students and a lot of cheap alcohol. Jonny wasn’t in a fraternity, but his friend Dylan had some buddies who were, so he ended up at some of their parties.

They were standing off to the side talking to a couple of other guys when Dylan started to pull on his arm and give a quick goodbye to the guys in front of them before he pulled Jonny away completely.

“Where are we going?” Jonny pulled against his grasp enough to get Dylan to let go because he could follow behind him on his own he really didn’t need to be _dragged_ across the fucking party.

Dylan relented and let go, giving Jonny a quick glance back. “Just to meet someone. You’ll like him, I promise.”

Jonny rolled his eyes behind him, worrying this was going to be another attempt at a setup. Being in a committed relationship for a whole year now apparently had Dylan thinking he needed to get Jonny into one too, but Jonny could manage to get a date just fine on his own thank you very much. And he really didn’t want what Dylan had with Catherine. He was nineteen, for fuck’s sake, the last thing on his mind was a serious relationship. A regular hookup, that, he could manage. And he already had one of those, so in his mind he was pretty much set for the time being.

When Dylan came to a stop in front of him though, all Jonny saw was a tall guy wearing a plaid shirt with cargo shorts, holding a solo cup in his hand while he was chatting up a pretty blonde girl. Dylan seemed to have his sights set on the guy who was probably a member of the frat rather than the blonde, so maybe this actually wouldn’t be so bad.

“Seabs, hey, I’ve been looking for you all night, man.” Dylan greeted the guy, _Seabs_. The name sounded familiar and Jonny thought that he vaguely remembered hearing that name belonging to someone important at _Alpha wherever the fuck they were_. Not that it really mattered, it meant that Seabs was probably a junior at least, but Jonny couldn’t care less about how important he apparently was in a frat.

Seabs shrugged in response and smiled as he looked around the room. “You know this place always turns into a madhouse. How’ve you been?”

“Good, good. Oh yeah, this is my buddy, Jonny,” Dylan said as he clapped his shoulder. 

“Hey,” Seabs turned his attention toward him. “You pledged anywhere?”

“Nah,” Jonny answered with a shake of his head.

“He has commitment issues,” Dylan offered as an explanation.

Jonny rolling his eyes at that was basically a knee-jerk reaction. “Hey, just because I don’t want to promise to spend my life with someone at _nineteen_ doesn’t mean I can’t commit. It just means I don’t want to.”

Seabs was nodding at. “I know what you mean, dude. That’s some scary shit.”

Dylan looked done with both of them. “Oh hey,” he glanced down at his phone. “Catherine wants me to come find her, I’ll be right back. You guys stay and chat until we get back.” 

It definitely wasn’t a question, and Jonny looked back to Seabs with raised eyebrows. Seabs shrugged in response, and they started up some fairly typical college small talk. Majors, year, future plans, etc. Jonny actually did like Seabs, he seemed nice and he wasn’t bad to talk to, but he wasn’t disappointed or anything when he got pulled away by someone else. Jonny simply wandered toward the kitchen in search of a new drink and sent Dylan a text saying where he could find him if he wanted to.

He lost track of Dylan for a while after that. There was a decent chance he didn’t want to know what he was currently getting up to, honestly. But he did manage to find Seabs again, on accident..

Jonny was going through the house in search of a bathroom and he opened the door to the first one he found without giving it a second thought.

He automatically started to close the door back on reflex when he saw someone in there. “Shit, sorry.” He apologized quickly and took a step back away from the door.

“It’s cool, you just walked in on some hand washing, don’t worry about it.” The response came from a familiar voice.

Jonny eased the door back open to take in the sight of Seabs standing in front of the mirror, drying his hands off. He lingered in the doorway, crossing his arms over his chest as he waited. When Seabs turned back around he just leaned up against the sink and Jonny watched his eyes do a once over of him.

 

He was careful to not look away first when Seabs’ eyes came back up to meet his own, though he didn’t really know what they were doing here yet he didn’t want to be the one to back down from it.

“Have you talked to Dylan since he left earlier?” Seabs asked, still not moving from his spot in front of the sink.

“No, I sort of lost track of him.” Jonny answered with a shrug.

“Well he found me again, with Catherine.” The look on his face was unreadable. “I think they’re trying to get us together or something.”

Jonny actually groaned. He should have known. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

Seabs laughed. “Come on, I’m not that bad.”

“Yeah it’s not you. They just, try to do this a lot. And not exactly with a very successful track record.” Thinking back on some of their previous attempts could make him cringe easily, which was why he quickly went from politely saying yes to flat out rejecting going out with anyone they suggested.

“You don’t want to date?” Seabs didn’t seem overly invested in the answer, just asking.

Jonny couldn’t help the face he pulled when he thought about it. “Not really.”

Seabs pushed away from the sink then and Jonny thought he was actually going to leave now, but as he neared the door, he moved in closer to Jonny than the entry. “What about this?” He edged closer until his face was right in front of Jonny’s, lips hovering mere inches away. “Would this be okay?”

“Yeah.” Jonny fumbled out with his hand until he managed to shut the door behind him and lock it. “I’m okay with this.” 

 

Now, his arm brushes against Seabs’ as they walk together down a too white hallway. They’re both different in a lot of ways, but Seabs will always be familiar to him in a way that’s comforting. They’re doing this together. 

They both pause in the doorway to Katie’s room. Seeing her on a hospital bed like that, it takes Jon a moment to get himself together before he can actually go in there. She does look fine, if not a little more pale than usual. They said she didn’t really face any of the impact in the back of the car, but they did want to be sure that there was nothing wrong internally.

He was more careful than he had ever been with anything in his life as he lifted her up from the bed. “Hi, Katie,” he spoke softly. “How are you feeling?”

She just had her first birthday a couple of weeks ago, so he wasn’t expecting her to be very responsive, but the way she curled up against his chest was good enough for him. Seabs came around behind him to talk to her over Jonny’s shoulder. He could feel her laughing and squirming and he ran a soothing hand over her back.

“I’m so glad she’s okay.” Seabs is still behind him, with one of his hands brushing against Jonny’s shoulder as he lets Katie grab ahold of his fingers.

Jonny just lets out a breath as his hand continues to run over her back. “Yeah, me too.” 

He doesn’t know how long they’re in there before someone comes and opens the door, but they’re both sitting down now and Katie is asleep in his arms.

As soon as he sees the man who entered the room he knows he must be the doctor and they both start to stand but he holds out a hand, gesturing for them to stay seated. “Mr. Seabrook, Mr. Toews?”

Jonny is immediately unsettled by the look on the doctor’s face. He pulls Katie in a little tighter to his chest automatically.

“I’m sorry to have to tell you that your friends weren’t able to recover from the injuries they sustained in the accident--” The doctor starts, and Jonny feels like he’s in a daze for everything that comes afterward.

He cries without realizing it’s even happening until he sees the wet stains on Seabs’ shirt. They make phone calls that he’s surprised he remains completely coherent through. And none of it seems real to him at all. He knows he’s kept close to Katie this whole time, not wanting to leave her alone for too long even though she would probably be perfectly fine.

Catherine’s parents arrive first, and things don’t get any easier, but Jon allows himself to sit down for the first time since that doctor first came in the room and really process what’s happened. He doesn’t let himself sink into the grief for too long, because there are still things to be handled and he’d rather be moving and useful than allow himself to be swallowed up by his own feelings.

Catherine’s parents clutched on to Katie for a while when they first arrived, but they’ve mostly been back and forth between nearly inconsolable and trying to deal with the hospital to get things taken care of for their daughter since then, so Jonny and Seabs have mostly been hanging back and alternating between holding Katie while she dozes and trying to entertain her when she wakes back up and looks grumpy. She probably needs to get a few solid hours in at least, but every time they get her asleep for a while she just wakes back up. He hopes she’ll do better when she’s back in her own house, and Jon doesn’t even know what time it is anymore but it would probably be good to see if they can get her home.

Katie is small, Jonny thinks stupidly. He’s sure he hasn’t held a child smaller than her more than five times in his life, and she was probably still two of those at least. It scares him when he realizes he doesn’t know what’s going to happen to her, who’s going to take care of her. They have family around, but he has no idea if Dylan and Catherine even had a plan for something like this in place.

“Hey.” He nudges Seabs, who’s sitting in the chair beside him looking like he could fall asleep any minute now too.

He runs a hand over his face. “Yeah?”

“Do you think we should see if we can take her home? For tonight at least?” He’ll stay with her by himself if he has too, but he would feel a little better having someone else there with him.

Seabs nods in agreement. “Yeah, that’d probably be good.”

Katie is still quietly asleep in Jon’s arms for the time being, so he decides to risk passing her off to Seabs so that he can be the one to check. Seabs accepts her easily, and there’s a moment where he’s just waiting for her to start crying again, but she doesn’t so he feels like it’s safe to leave. He wouldn’t be surprised to come back and find both of them asleep.

“Can we at least take her with us tonight? You have our names and numbers. We would just be taking her back to her own house.” The nurse has already explained to him that there’s an official procedure they’re supposed to follow in situations like these, and that they can’t just release Katie to the two of them, but Jonny’s having a hard time accepting the idea that they would have to leave her without anyone she knows around.

“No, I’m sorry, sir, but Katie will be placed in the care of Child Protective Services until the situation is sorted out.”

“Sorted out? Her family is right here.” Jonny gestures back at the waiting room.

“I know, but we have to follow the protocol in these situations. I’m sorry.”

Jonny wants to yell or something to try to change the situation but he knows it won’t do him any good here. No matter what he says they’re not going to let them take Katie home.

“Fine, then I’m going to see her again before we go.” The nurse nods and Jonny immediately turns around to go back to Seabs and Katie.

 

As far as they know, they’re the only two people in the world who know where Catherine and Dylan keep their spare key. It’s tucked behind this welcome sign that Dylan had once referred to as “some Pinterest bullshit” with a smile before Catherine smacked him on the arm. She became surprisingly crafty during the last two months or so of her pregnancy while she was way less mobile and they were all amused as hell by it, but she took it very seriously and she was actually pretty good, because of course nothing coming from her would be anything less.

He felt his eyes start to sting again as he stood there, but he tried to reign it in as Seabs got the door open, because if he was emotional now it would be about a hundred times worse when he went inside their house.

There are signs that they had just been here everywhere. A laundry basket full of clothes sitting by the bottom of the stairs, a near empty glass on the coffee table, some of Katie’s toys spread out. If he didn’t know better, he would think they were going to come back any minute now. 

They stopped by both of their own places to get enough stuff for the night, and Jonny kept his bag on his shoulder and started off toward the bathroom. He just wants to change and get ready for bed and be done with this day.

He stays in the bathroom long enough to brush his teeth and splash some water on his face after he looked in the mirror. _God, he looks awful_. 

And he strips down into a new pair of boxers and a t-shirt. He’ll bother with actually showering in the morning.

They didn’t turn many lights on when they came in, so Jonny was caught off guard when he came out of the bathroom and stepped on something that emitted a loud squeaking noise. He cursed as he bent down to pick up the baby toy, carrying it with him back into the living room. “I can’t believe we had to leave her there. I feel like shit.”

Seabs has changed now too, and Jonny doesn’t know if he already went upstairs or not. If he did and managed to come back down, Jonny would have to applaud him, because he’s looking just as wrung out as he is. “I know. Let’s just try to get some sleep. We have that meeting with their lawyer first thing in the morning.”

Jonny drops down on the couch, pulling the throw that rests on top of it down with him. Seabs gives him a look that reads _you sure_? But Jonny just waves him off. They have one guest bedroom, and while he could probably fall asleep beside just about anyone right now, they could both probably use some space. And their bedroom is of course off-limits. He had a hard enough time averting his eyes away from all of the happy pictures of his friends that are placed throughout the entry and the living room. It’s too soon and it’s all still too fresh. He just needs to close his eyes.

 

Jonny groans when his 8am alarm goes off the next morning. He slept well enough, but it still feels like no time at all after the night he had. He stays there on the couch for a moment, debating between whether he should shower or get coffee first, before coffee ultimately wins out. When people have joked about him needing the stuff to properly function, they’re not really wrong. The want right now is so strong he feels like he can actually already smell it?

When he walks into the kitchen he finds the actual, logical reason why he was smelling coffee. Seabs is already up, with one mug in his hand and another sitting out on the counter with steam still coming up from it. As Jonny gets closer Seabs gently nudges it forward so that when Jonny plops down on one of the stools he can easily reach his hands out and grab the mug up.

He lowers it back down slightly after a long sip. “I love you,” he says to Seabs very seriously, which only makes him laugh in return.

The look Seabs gives him is pointed. “Yeah, I remember how you are in the mornings. That was more for my own sake than yours.”

Jonny pulls a face even though he knows it’s true.

They’re mostly quiet for a while after that. Seabs had already eaten some cereal, and Jonny didn’t think he could bring himself to eat anything substantial so he just eats a banana so that he’s had something at least. Normally, he’d be up cooking both of them breakfast once the coffee started to set in, but neither of them are up for it today. The air’s still too heavy around them as they wait to find out what’s going to happen next for either of them to really enjoy much of anything right now.

He makes it through another mug before he gets up to go shower and start getting ready to meet Dylan and Catherine’s lawyer, whose name he’s already forgotten. But he called while they were on their way here from the hospital, so it’s not surprising. He’s not sure he remembers much of anything he said himself after that doctor first came in the room.

When the lawyer shows up, he thankfully reintroduces himself as Malcolm, and follows them into the dining room where Jonny and Seabs sit on one side of the table and Malcolm sits on the other. He places a briefcase on the table and pulls out a folder, the contents of which he begins to carefully spread out.

Jonny doesn’t even realize he’s sitting there jittering until he feels one of Seabs’ hands close over his leg and the sudden stop of movement makes him notice that there was any in the first place. His smile is tight when he turns to look at Seabs, but he just smiles back and gives Jonny’s leg a gentle squeeze before letting go.

Malcolm turns his attention to the two of them now. “I’m sure you both have a lot of questions for me.”

There is one that immediately comes to mind. “When can we see Katie?”

“Very soon. You should be able to go pick her up from Child Protective Services after we’ve finished talking and we would suggest that you bring her back here, so that she can be in an environment she’s already familiar with.”

“Okay, who will be staying with her then?” Seabs asks, leaning forward in his chair.

Malcolm frowns. “I’m sorry, did Dylan and Catherine discuss the situation of Katie’s guardians with the two of you?”

Jonny and Seabs both turn to look at each other. “No, not really.”

“Well, when we were arranging Dylan and Catherine’s will, and they came upon the issue of who would take care of Katie in the event that something happened to both of them, they chose the two of you.”

Jonny’s head snaps back in Malcolm’s direction. “What?” he manages at the same time as Seabs asks “together?”

“Yes, I know this isn’t the ideal way to start a family but--”

Jonny clears his throat to cut him off. “Uh, we’re not actually together.”

“Yeah, it’s not like that at all,” Seabs adds. “Neither of us even has any sort of experience with this kind of thing.”

Malcolm nods, looking between the two of them. “I understand. This isn’t a typical situation, and not something I would usually encourage, but it’s what Dylan and Catherine wanted. Though you can say no, and you should think long and hard about this, because it would be a very big commitment and there are other options if the two of you feel like you can’t do this.”

A quiet settles over the room as Malcolm waits for one of them to say something.

“What options?” Jonny breaks the silence, his own voice sounding rough and foreign to him.

“Well, there is Dylan’s brother. He does have several children of his own. Catherine’s parents could be a possibility, and there’s also Dylan’s dad but that would mean Katie having to travel to Michigan, and he would be taking care of her on his own.”

“And what if we decided to do it?” Seabs asks quietly.

“Because you’re already listed as her guardians by her parents, there would be a simple court hearing to grant you temporary custody, and I would suggest that the two of you move in here together for the time being with Katie.”

Malcolm starts in on the finances then, but Jonny has a hard time listening to what he’s actually saying. He’s still trying to wrap his head around the idea of raising a child. Raising a child with _Brent Seabrook_.

By the time it’s over, they haven’t said no to this. But they haven’t said yes either. They have to talk about this and think about everything, like whether or not both of them are anywhere near ready for this. In the end, they decide to give it some time and make taking care of Katie as best they can their main priority until they’re able to properly say goodbye to their friends and have a better mental space to really think about this.

 

The next couple of days go by in a blur. Catherine and Dylan’s parents are handling all of the funeral arrangements, so Jonny’s main responsibility is taking care of Katie, which he’s still trying to wrap his head around. Every time he’s holding her, he still just feels like he’s waiting for one of her parents to come by and take her back any minute now. He shouldn’t be responsible for her. He doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing. There has to be somebody who should be taking care of her instead, who has at least some experience at this. Jonny was still too young when his brother was born to really be responsible for taking care of him when he was little, because looking out for him just isn’t the same thing. The week he spent in high school taking care of an _acorn_ definitely doesn’t count. That’s how much his teacher trusted them all, she gave them acorns to look after. Looking back, that’s probably about the extent of what Jonny would have given himself to be responsible for too. He’s always been able to handle his own responsibilities, but being responsible for someone else, he’s still not sure he’s ready for that.

He decides to voice these concerns to Seabs the night before the service is supposed to take place, when things are starting to feel way too real.

“Can we do this?” He asks, eyes trained on the small child in Seabs’ arms.

Seabs looks as tired and rundown as Jonny feels. “I don’t know,” he answers honestly with a small shrug and then remembers that Katie is sleeping in his arms and gently soothes her, though she never actually stirred. “I hope so.” 

“What if we can’t? Do you think they’d hate us more if we didn’t try or if we tried and seriously fucked up?” Jonny knows he’s freaking out a little, but he can’t help it. This is two of his best friend’s kid and they have to get this right.

Seabs is quiet for a moment before letting out a sigh. Jonny’s come to appreciate his patience more than he ever did before in these past couple of days. “What do you want to do, Jon?”

He paces a couple of steps back and forth, trying to work this out in his head. “I feel like I can’t leave her, I mean she’s their kid and they decided to put us in charge of her, but maybe I should. Maybe we should find someone else.”

“What if there isn’t anybody else?” Seabs voice is still quiet, calm. Jonny’s torn between wanting him to freak out with him and being glad that he’s not. 

He shakes his head, his legs go still again. “I don’t know, I guess we’re doing this then.” He knows he could only give Katie up to someone else Catherine and Dylan would trust. He could never even try to give her away to a stranger, no matter how nice they seemed.

“Go get some sleep.” Seabs says after he’s been lingering in the doorway for a while.

“Are you sure?” Sleep sounds so good right now, but he doesn’t want to abandon Seabs. That’s one thing he’s sure about in all of this. If they do decide to raise Katie together, they would really have to be in it together. That’s the only way it would work.

“Yeah, we’ll be fine.”

Seabs only has a couple of years on him, but in that moment Jonny feels like a kid around him. Watching him hold Katie, he looks like he could really do this. Jonny just wants to feel that way about himself, but he doesn’t. Not yet.

 

The funeral is brutal. Their families take up the first couple of rows, and Katie is seated between her grandparents. Miraculously enough, she remains relatively calm throughout the whole thing. Jonny and Seabs are in the next available row with some cousins. About halfway through one of them grabbed the other’s hand, he doesn’t even remember who initiated the contact, but neither of them let go until it’s time for everyone to stand again.

When they’re back at the house, Jonny feels too busy to let himself really get upset again. He has to make sure everything’s in order and greet family and friends, and find out if there’s anyone else who would be a better fit to take care of Katie.

He has a moment alone with Seabs in the kitchen before things get too hectic. 

“So you’re checking with Catherine’s parents?” He leans forward on his arms resting on the counter.

Seabs nods. “And you’ll talk to Dylan’s brother?”

“Yeah. Are we ruling out Dylan’s dad?”

He frowns for a moment before nodding again. “I think so? I mean, he would be doing it on his own and Dylan’s mentioned that his health hasn’t been that great recently.”

“Okay, so we’ll meet back up later?”

Seabs nods again and pats his back before they split up.

Katie’s received a lot of attention from relatives and family friends alike throughout the day, and Jonny can’t blame them, she’s basically the cutest kid there is in his opinion, so he doesn’t worry about her too much while they try to talk to some family members and figure out if someone else could take care of her.

His high hopes for Dylan’s brother get dashed pretty quickly. Jonny’s only been around Kyle a couple of times and he seemed like a good guy, and he knows Dylan really loves him, but the current state of his marriage isn’t looking too promising.

“So you really think it’s over then?” Jonny’s eye dart between Kyle’s kids running around behind them and the way he reacts.

“Oh yeah, she filed for divorce last week. She’s not going to turn back from that now.” He takes a drink and pulls at his collar a little. “It’s probably about to get ugly, too. I mean, I’m sure she’ll have some sympathy for the next couple of weeks, but after that she’ll be gearing up for the custody battle.”

When he finds Seabs again, he doesn’t seem too hopeful, either.

“Catherine’s parents are thinking about moving. I don’t know, Jon, I think they’re taking this too hard to really be able to handle raising a one year old.” Jonny passes him a drink. “How did it go with Kyle?”

“Three kids, impending divorce. I don’t think that’d be the best situation to put Katie in.”

“Agreed,” Seabs says with a shake of his head.

They stand there together quietly, both thinking about this situation. Jonny can’t help but think they’re out of options. He doesn’t want to just pass Katie off to someone else to make things easier on himself. He could only do it if he knew it would be better for her, because Dylan and Catherine left him responsible for their daughter, and he loves them all too much to do anything but put Katie first.

He’s pulled out of his thoughts when he sees the most beautiful family he’s sure he’ll ever know come inside the house. Patrick and Abby Sharp, with their daughter Madelyn holding on tightly to her hand.

The thought hadn’t even crossed his mind before, but now that he thinks about it, maybe the Sharps would be the perfect option? They all knew Sharpy from college too, and he’s heard Catherine admire them as parents more than once. Katie could be a perfect fit. At the least, it couldn’t hurt to ask.

When he turns toward Seabs he’s already looking at him, and Jonny wonders if he could be having the same thought. He raises his eyebrows and Seabs shrugs, so he guesses they’re checking out one more option.

Abby gets pulled away soon after they get inside, but Sharpy excuses himself and heads in their direction.

“You two coparenting,” he greets them with an easy smile. “Who would have ever thought?”

Jonny shares another look with Seabs. His expression is passive, so he guesses now is as good a time as any. Better to go ahead and rip the metaphorical bandaid.

“About that,” he pauses to give a look around and make sure no one’s standing close enough to eavesdrop, some of Catherine and Dylan’s nosy neighbors in particular. “We’ve been looking at all of our options, just trying to make sure we would be the best thing for Katie. There’s not really anyone in her immediate family who would be able to handle it, and we’re just trying to find the best situation for her, so you can feel free to shoot this down but. We were wondering, if you and Abby would consider it?”

He watches surprise take over Sharpy’s features, though it quickly turns into something closer to a frown. “Oh. We probably wouldn’t have even really hesitated, but--” he leans in a little closer. “Promise not to let Abby know I already told you?”

They both nod.

Sharpy turns his head and starts looking around and Jonny grows impatient. “Sharp.” He kicks at his foot with his own. “Come on.”

“Sorry, just wanted to make sure the wife wasn’t close enough to catch me.” He smiles briefly, like he does at any mention of Abby. “She’s pregnant again.”

 _Oh_. 

“You know I love you guys and I love Katie, and I’d do anything for her, but I can’t ask Abby to take all of this on. Especially when there’s talk about me having to relocate for work, it’d just be too much.”

Jon understands, and he sympathizes, but he can’t help but deflate at his answer. He thought he had just found a really good solution, because honestly who would be better at taking care of Katie than the Sharps? But now he’s just at a loss again.

Sharpy says something and he has to pull himself out of his own thoughts again. “What?”

“I was just asking if you guys had thought at all about why they made you her guardians?”

Jonny shakes his head and mutters quietly, “I have no fucking clue.”

Sharpy claps a hand over his shoulder. “If they thought you could do this, then you probably can.”

Jonny doesn’t think it’s quite that simple, but he accepts it with a nod and Sharpy seems satisfied enough to let it be for now. He says something about getting a drink and starts to make his way past them, patting Seabs’ arm as he goes. 

They’re not left alone for long before Brandon and Andy find him.

“Jonny, hey.” He’s quickly enveloped in one tight hug and then another right after, with Andy switching off to give a hug to Seabs even though he doesn’t really know him while Brandon hugs Jonny. “We’re really sorry, man.”

“Thanks, guys.” He has to fight back a laugh. These are the two people he’s left in charge of his shop for the past couple of days. He’s grown to love them, but they are who they are and while he trusts them he’s still half expecting to come back and find the place in a state of chaos.

“And you don’t have to worry, everything’s all good at Per Se, promise,” Andy adds.

Jonny looks to Brandon for confirmation. “He’s right, we’re fine. Take all the time you need.” 

They both look serious about it, so Jonny is willing to accept that his business is probably doing okay without him. He’s planning on going back in tomorrow anyway for as long as he can.

“Really guys, thanks. I’ll be back as soon as I can, but.” He considers hugging both of them again. It’s not like he hasn’t worried about how things were going the past couple of days, but he at least wasn’t in a panic or anything, because he knows he can trust them. He’s glad he has that, especially seeing as it’s looking more and more like they’ll be the ones keeping Katie. “I appreciate it.”

Brandon is smiling wide. “Don’t hurt yourself, Jonny. We know.”

Jonny scowls. “I take it back. Get away from me.”

Now all three of them are laughing at him.

“It’s too late now, boss. We know you love us.”

He starts shoving at both of them. “Go bother someone else.”

Andy turns, eyes lighting up at the prospect. “Ooh, where’s Katie?”

Jonny rolls his eyes, but he’s actually been wanting to go find her himself. “Let’s go find her.”

Andy takes off and pulls Brandon along with him, and Jonny turns to Seabs before he follows. “You tagging along?”

“Oh yeah, I’m having fun.” He grins and Jonny elbows him in the side before they follow after them to find Katie.

 

Jonny hasn’t been left with much time to cook in the past couple of days, and he’s missed it, but he made a promise to Brandon and Andy before they left yesterday that he wouldn’t come in until late afternoon at least. He agreed, because he wanted them to turn the puppy dog eyes on someone else instead, so he’s in the kitchen at the house. Making baby food.

The look Seabs gave him when he realized what he was doing was almost comical.

“You know they make baby food for you, right?”

He continues on with pureeing the sweet potato, not even looking up. “This will be better.”

He hears Seabs trying to suppress a laugh. “She’s one, Jonny. I don’t think she’s in a place to really judge yet.”

Jonny shrugs. “I have the time, I wanted to give it a try.”

Seabs lets it go at that and mills around the kitchen, grabbing a drink and watching but keeping out of Jonny’s way.

When he’s satisfied with how it looks he takes the top off and gets a small bowl to empty some of it out into and one of Katie’s spoons.

She’s been sitting in her high chair, relatively calmer since Seabs came in and started entertaining her when she got a little fussy.

“Hi, sweet girl,” he says softly. “You want to try this?” He places the bowl and spoon down in front of her, but she looks at it with nothing more than disinterest.

“Here, let me.” He picks the spoon up and scoops up some of the sweet pea and then brings it towards her mouth. She doesn’t open it one bit. He lets the spoon graze her lip and she still won’t budge.

He tries eating some of it himself to show her that it’s good but she seems less than impressed.

When he gets a little desperate and adds in airplane noises as he twirls the spoon around and brings it toward her she at least opens her mouth enough for him to get the spoon in.

“There we go! Good—” She spits it back out before he can even get the next word out. He’s pretty sure he has baby food on his face, shirt, arms, just about everywhere but where it’s supposed to be.

He sits back on a nearby chair, bringing the bowl with him in case she gets any ideas. “Why won’t you eat this, huh?” He frowns down at the orange mess in his hands.

“Jon, hey.” When he looks back up Seabs is standing behind her high chair, holding a tube of one of those Gerber snack things. “We could try giving her some of these? I think this was Catherine’s usual fallback.”

Jonny gives a wave of his hand. He can try anything he wants at this point, because Jonny’s either about to throw in the towel or start pureeing every other fruit and vegetable he can until he finds one she’ll accept.

Seabs pours some of the Gerber’s Puffs out on her tray and she eyes them before reaching down and grabbing one to put in her mouth. She smiles and quickly snatches up a few more.

Jon sinks back into the chair, seriously wondering if he’s about to cry right now. “Why did I think this would be easier?” His voice breaks and Seabs quickly turns toward him. 

“Hey,” he drops down on the chair beside him. “Babies are weird.” He gives him a smile, but Jonny doesn’t give in to it. “I’m serious. Come on, I’ve had your food. I know how good you are. She probably would have liked it too, she just didn’t want to.” Jonny’s looking more at the table than anything else, so Seabs nudges him to really get his attention. “Kids just don’t make any sense sometimes, I think that’s one of the first things you’re supposed to accept as a rule of parenting.”

 _Parenting_. “I should not be a parent,” Jon mumbles.

Seabs is the one frowning, now. 

He gets up suddenly and Jonny has no idea where he’s going, but Katie is still quietly content so he just drops his head down on his arms on top of the table.

His eyes haven’t been closed for more than a minute when Seabs comes back.

“Here.” He nudges Jon again until he sits back up, and offers out a wet washcloth to him. “Get yourself cleaned up, then go take a nap for a while before you go into work later. You’ll feel better when you come back tonight after you’ve been in your element again.”

Seabs’ features are soft, and Jon has to take a moment again to appreciate just how patient he can be.

When he stands up Seabs fingers catch on the hem of his shirt long enough to pull at it a little. “Take this off and I’ll take care of it.”

Jonny moves back a step and does as he’s told. His face and arms are now clean again, and his shirt is in Seabs’ hands and yeah, he could really use a nap.

“Thank you,” he says before he goes to leave.

“Don’t worry about it.” He brings his free hand up to pat Jonny’s arm before he steps around him.

Jonny runs a gentle hand over Katie’s head as he passes through.

 

Jonny opens the front door in a t-shirt and sweats, with Katie sitting on his hip, to see the Sharps, Duncs, Andy, and Brandon all standing on the porch with some sort of covered dishes in all of their hands.

He looks between their smiling faces. “I’m guessing I won’t be able to manage to turn you guys away?”

Abby steps forward first. “Not a chance.” She stops to kiss his cheek, and then Katie too, as she passes through the door. “Good to see you again, Jon.”

Jonny eyes the dish in Duncs hands as he comes inside.

Duncs shrugs. “You know my wife wouldn’t let me come over without something.”

“Same goes for my girlfriend.” Andy follows in behind him.

Jonny stops Brandon. “You don’t even have a girl.”

Brandon smiles sheepishly. “I don’t want to come empty handed.”

Jonny sighs and steps to the side. “You all remember I cook for a living, right?” He calls out as he shuts the door back behind him.

“Exactly, so you should get a break at home. You’re welcome.” Sharpy calls back.

“So thoughtful,” he mutters. “Our friends are the worst,” he tells Katie as he walks them back toward the kitchen.

He finds Seabs at the fridge, but Katie’s no longer with him. Abby snatched her away as he was passing through. “So we have company.”

Seabs laughs and straightens back up. “I noticed.” He hands Jonny one of those sparkling waters. “For Abby,” he explains.

Jonny takes the bottle over to the table and before he can return to help Seabs with the glasses Brandon and Andy have it covered and Sharpy is following behind them with plates and silverware.

“Wow, you guys actually can be useful,” Jonny says in mock surprise.

“Hardy, har.” Sharpy bumps him out of the way with his hip.

With everything else taken care of, he goes to get Katie’s high chair, placing it near the edge at one of the table ends. He’s honestly not even sure if he’ll get one of the seats beside her or if someone else will take it, but he isn’t too worried about it. She’ll be well taken care of either way.

They make it about ten minutes into the dinner before Seabs lets it slip that Katie won’t eat anything Jonny’s cooked for her.

“We’ve barely even tried anything,” he starts, but it’s too late to try to get them to let go of his own now.

“No way.” Andy’s face is a mix of horror and awe.

And Sharpy, of course, thinks it’s hilarious.

Jonny turns his glare on Seabs. “Are you paying me back for something?”

“I really am sorry,” he tries to say, but he’s laughing now too. He is so not sorry.

When Jonny looks over at Katie she’s laughing too, reacting to everyone else, and with his friends all around him he thinks for the first time that he might actually be able to do this.

 

Jonny’s left to watch Katie completely on his own for the second time ever when Seabs, or _Brent_ , has to stay late at work to make up for some lost time while they’ve been trying to get settled into their very different lives. He decided that he should maybe get used to calling him by his actual name instead of stupid nickname he picked up in college if they’re going to be raising a kid together.

He knows that Brent is some kind of sports lawyer, which he’s reassured him is usually not very fun or glamorous, but as far as Jonny knows he’s always liked the work anyway. And he’s been able to work with the Blackhawks some, which was enough to excite most of their shared friend group. 

He was at work early that day so he could leave when he needed to and have plenty of time to watch Katie that night. So far, Brandon and Andy have stayed true to their word and gone out of their way to help so that Jonny’s been able to spend less time at the shop as he’s needed to. They’ve been mapping out their schedules and he thinks they’re going to be able to settle into some kind of at least semi-normal rhythm soon, with Jonny being around more during the day, and Seabs taking over at night. They’ll probably end up like ships in the night half the time, but if they can make this work, that’s all that really matters.

So tonight, Jonny is sitting on the couch with Katie propped up beside him. It’s not time for her to eat yet, they’ve been trying to stick to a schedule and get her back into a routine again, but he still has some snacks tucked away in her bag by the side of the couch just in case he needs to placate her. For now, she’s content with a sippy cup in her hands and a toy on either side of her legs.

“Okay,” Jonny picks the remote up and settles in. “Let’s see if we can find a good game to watch, yeah?” They’re showing the Jets game on NHL Network, so he clicks on to that. They’re on a commercial break, but after about a minute they get back to the broadcast and Jonny pulls the top off the beer he brought in with him. His heavy drinking days basically ended around the same time college did, but he likes to drink a little at the end of a day and he’s at a point with Katie now where he feels like he can relax a little more around her and not worry so much about screwing something up.

The Jets have just barely won the next faceoff before Katie starts crying, loud and red and angry.

When he looks at her there’s nothing visibly wrong, so he lifts her up to check for any signs that she needs a diaper change, but she seems to be good there on all accounts so he sits her back down. He lays the back of his hand against her forehead to see if she might be warm, but she doesn’t seem to be running a fever either.

“Sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong.” Jonny sighs as she continues to cry. He’s out of ideas so he just scoops her up and heads toward the kitchen. 

By the time he has her down in her high chair she’s started to calm down and her face is returning to a more normal color. “We’re close enough to your supper time now, do you want to eat?”

She just pats her hands against the tray in front of her, which Jonny takes as a yes. He pulls out one of the small baby food jars and starts spooning out its contents. He can’t help but feel a little bitter every time he watches her eat one of these while she’ll barely even let anything he makes get past her lips. But as Brent has helpfully pointed out, Katie gets really amused by his “grumpy face”, so he guesses it works out in her favor.

When she’s done eating and they go back into the living room, the hockey game is still on with the Jets up 3-1 over the Flames. As soon as he sets Katie down she starts crying again. 

“What now?” Her eyes are fixed on the TV so Jonny has an idea. “How about this?” He turns over to the History Channel where they’re showing some war documentary, but Katie carries on crying. “Okay, hold on.” He goes through the guide until he finds a channel with kids shows and they start watching something with talking cartoon animals. 

Katie quiets almost instantly and starts clapping her hands instead.

Jonny just stares at her for a moment before he starts laughing. “A woman who knows what she wants, eh?”

He runs a hand through her hair and then sets the remote off to the side. He can just keep up with the scores on his phone tonight.

When Brent comes back a couple of hours later, Katie is upstairs in her crib asleep and Jonny is sprawled out on the couch watching highlights.

“Get caught up?” He scoots up far enough on the couch to watch Seabs as he takes his coat off and hangs it up. He’s better about that than Jonny, who’s still trying to get out of the habit of just tossing his over the armchair after he comes in.

“Mostly. I’ll probably have another night of staying a little longer, but it should be fine.” He disappears into the kitchen and comes back with two beers, offering one out to Jonny before he sits in the armchair off to the side of the couch. “How was Katie?”

Jonny sighs, sitting all the way up now. “I don’t think it’s going to work out.”

The expression on Brent’s face quickly shifts to one of concern. “What happened?”

“She doesn’t like hockey.”

He remains quiet for a moment before he lets out a burst of laughter. “Don’t worry, we’ll convert her one day.”

Jonny nods seriously. “We better.”

They sit in silence for a while, watching the TV and taking slow pulls from the bottles. Jonny knows he could end up falling asleep there again if he let himself, so he stands up and says something to Brent about going to bed.

“But she was okay?” Brent asks as Jonny turns the TV off.

“Yeah,” Jonny’s lips quirk up. “She was perfect.”

They walk up the stairs together and Jonny pauses before he goes down the other end of the hallway. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Jon.” The hallway is dark but he can still see Brent’s tired smile. “Thanks for doing this tonight.”

“‘Course. You do the same for me,” he says in response.

Brent leans forward a little. “We make a pretty good team, eh?”

“Yeah, we do.” His voice is low, and something about this feels dangerous. He’s sure that Brent is feeling it too, neither of them has actually moved, but they could. Jon could lean forward a couple more inches and be in Brent’s space, follow him back to his room. Just a few inches, and he could set something in motion. They’ve been here before, multiple times, and he knows it would be just as good if not better than before.

But that was college. That was before they had a kid to take care of together. Jonny pulls back.

His shower is very cold that night and he locks the door to the TV room-turned-makeshift-bedroom just to place another barrier between himself and a bad decision. 

 

Jonny’s been working toward expanding Per Se into an actual restaurant for a couple of years now, and he’s gotten close enough to his ideal financial situation that they were able to start the construction process a few weeks back. Or so he thought.

Every time he thinks they’re where they need to be and everything’s fine, a problem comes up or something ends up costing more than he planned for it to and he finds himself in another mad scramble to keep everything within the budget. After today, he doesn’t know if that’s still possible at this point.

Brandon finds him in the back after he’s apparently been gone for a while. “Woah, what happened?”

Jonny’s slumped over the counter with a notepad page full of scribbled numbers and a hell of a lot of question marks sitting beside him. The side of his hand is colored by black ink and there are two, no wait, three empty bottles in front of him. At least three. “I can’t do this.” He lifts his head up. “I—I actually can’t do it.” He starts laughing in disbelief as he repeats the words. He doesn’t even know why he’s laughing. Maybe so he doesn’t start crying instead. That will still probably happen later when he really takes in the fact that this mess around him is going to have to remain a mess.

Brandon looks around them. “What, the expansion?”

“Yep,” he drags the word out, popping the p.

Brandon starts edging forward. “I should probably take you home.”

Jonny sighs down at the counter in front of him. “Yeah, okay.” Brandon starts gathering up the bottles while he stands up from the stool he’s been sitting on. He grabs the notepad as an afterthought and rips off the first page, crumpling it up and tossing it in the near vicinity of the trash can before he follows Brandon out the back entrance.

“Have you talked to Brent about all of this?” Brandon asks when they’re both in the car and he’s starting it up.

“No.” Jonny slumps down in the seat a little. “It’s not something for him to worry about.”

When they get to the house Brandon takes Jonny’s key and lets them in. They find Brent on the couch with Katie happily bouncing up and down on one of his knees while he’s reading from the iPad held in his other hand. 

He looks up and smiles when he hears them come in. “What are you two doing?”

Brandon places his hands on Jonny’s shoulders and nudges him forward. “Jonny here just needs to take a break and relax a little.”

Brent studies him for a moment. “Are you drunk?” The look he’s giving Jonny is very different one from the one he gives Katie when she tries to get his attention.

“No, not really,” Jonny mutters. And he’s not really drunk, he just needed to do something to stop all those numbers from running through his head over and over again. So he drank until they didn’t make as much sense.

He hears Brandon sigh behind him. “Talk to him.” He gives him another push forward before he drops his hands down.

“You’re a traitor,” Jonny says without turning around.

Brandon just laughs. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow. Good luck, Brent.”

They don’t say anything until the door shuts back and Jonny is sitting down because, yeah, he’s been standing long enough.

Brent moved Katie to sit on the couch beside him so that he could lean forward and talk to Jonny. “It’s the middle of the afternoon, Jonny, what happened?”

Jonny just shakes his head. He really doesn’t want to talk about this and he’s not about to start taking Brandon’s advice now.

Brent opens his mouth to speak but the doorbell starts ringing before he can get anything out. He sighs and stands up with Katie, putting her down in her playpen. “We’re not done here,” he tells Jonny as he passes by him.

Jonny huffs out a breath, it’s not like he’s going anywhere anytime soon.

After Brent opens the door he hears the sound of muffled voices before Brent shuts the door back and comes running into the living room. “Our case worker is here. You have like two minutes to shower and sober yourself up enough to make a good impression.” Brent is pulling him up and shoving him toward the stairs before he even has time to react. “Of all the damn days.” He hears Brent mutter as he starts up the stairs.

It’s probably a miracle he doesn’t kill himself in the process, but Jonny makes it back downstairs in record time fully dressed, with his hair a little damp, and his mind clear enough that he thinks he can probably get through this without doing or saying something that would get Katie taken away from them on the spot.

“Okay,” Brent meets him back in the entryway, looking a little out of breath. He was probably cleaning up any of their mess the entire time he was upstairs, judging by the lack of toys or clothes anywhere they shouldn’t be when he came back down. They start toward the door, but then Brent sticks his arm out suddenly, stopping Jonny. “Shit, we should probably get Katie.”

Jonny stands there waiting for a few seconds while Brent retrieves Katie before they actually open the door. 

“Hi,” Jonny greets the man on the other side of it. “Sorry, I was just in the shower.”

“I see, it’s fine.” He smiles in return like this is far from the worst thing he’s had to deal with.

“Oh, come in.” They move to the side and let their case worker step inside. They exchange uneasy looks behind him, but Jonny’s trying to just act normally, because how bad could this be?

He says the couch would be fine so they end up sitting across from him while he takes the chair. “Okay,” he pulls out a folder before looking back up at the two of them. “Brent?”

“Yeah, that’s me,” Brent says as he offers out a hand.

The man shakes his hand and then turns his attention to Jonny. “And, Jonathan?”

Jonny nods. “I usually go by Jonny,” he says automatically.

“Alright.” He makes note of something on the paper in front of them. “Well, I’m Sidney, and you can feel free to call me Sid. I’ll be checking up on you guys over the next couple of months, make sure everything’s going okay as the three of you adjust to this.”

Jonny knows that’s code for ‘make sure you’re not terrible guardians who shouldn’t have a child anywhere near you’, but Sid seems nice. And kind of attractive? He’s not exactly checking him out or anything, but it’d be hard not to notice. If anything it’s just reminding him how lackluster his love life has been lately, even before he started taking care of Katie. But he definitely has no intentions of trying to date again anytime soon. He can barely stay on top of everything in his life now.

He misses the first part of what Sid was saying, but he hears something about a relationship? “Sorry, what were you saying?”

Sid smiles politely. “I was just asking about what your current relationship is?”

Jonny looks between Brent and Sid. “With each other?”

“Yes, are you—” he frowns like what he’s about to say next could be painful. “Are you involved in any way?”

They both laugh and Brent answers, “No, we’re just friends.” Jonny’s mind goes back to that weird moment between them the other night, but things have been normal with them since then. As far as he knows, Brent hasn’t been hooking up or anything lately either, so it was probably just a result of that.

“Okay, good.” Sid seems to relax some. “That can complicate things a lot of the time. Alright, I’m just going to ask you some questions about Katie now.”

Jonny thinks the rest of the visit goes pretty well, and by the end of it he feels very sober again, but like they at least didn’t do or say anything to get Katie taken away from them.

They’re standing in the foyer together after Sid’s left, and Brent turns to him. “He was kind of hot, right?”

Jonny just starts laughing, at least he’s not the only one. 

 

They’re about a month in when Jonny decides they have to do something about the house. The most moving around of anything they’ve done since they moved in there is converting the TV room upstairs into a bedroom for Jonny, and that’s going to have to change if this is where they’re going to live. They have to make it feel more like their home than their friends’ house that they’re just staying at. He wants to keep their memory around them and in Katie’s life, but they need some memories of their own too.

When he brings the idea up to Brent, he agrees and they set aside a weekend to do some redecorating. The Sharps are taking care of Katie so that they don’t have to worry about her inhaling any paint fumes or somehow getting hurt while they’re too busy to watch her. 

They pick out colors and picture frames and they both bring some stuff over from their old places to hang up and Jonny feels more adult than he ever has. A part of him gets hung up on the fact that he’s doing all of this with Brent. Like, when he pictured having his first house and decorating it he was imagining someone he was married to there with him, someone he was in love with. His life has become very different from how he ever expected it to be, and Brent has to be feeling the same way, but they’re managing.

Saturday night, Jonny’s been working for hours in his bedroom while Brent has been downstairs or on the other side of the house in his own room. Jonny’s standing in the middle of the room, looking at the walls around him, when Brent comes in.

“I think you missed a spot.”

Jonny just sticks his hand behind his back and flips him off, not even bothering to turn around. Brent laughs and Jonny hears him come further into the room.

“It looks good.” He’s close now, and Jonny does turn around. “You have some paint on your neck.”

Jonny makes the mistake of looking this time, and with his head tilted down he feels the wet swipe of a paintbrush across the other side of his neck. Brent takes a quick step back, but Jonny has three paintbrushes of his own nearby and it is _on_. 

He does everything he can to make sure they avoid his walls and he gets paint all over Brent Seabrook’s stupid face.

They stay mostly contained to one circle of the room and they swipe back and forth at each other until Brent gets some up in Jonny’s hair and he decides to cover his whole hand to get him back. Brent is willing to call a truce pretty quickly after that.

They collapse on the floor, where Jonny has plastic laid down, thank fuck. Jonny has paint drying in his hair, all up his arms and neck, and his shirt is probably ruined. Brent isn’t much better off beside him.

“Oh yeah,” he hears Brent shift. “I ordered a pizza before I came up here. It’ll probably be here soon.”

Jonny nudges Brent’s leg with his own in thanks and they lay there until they hear the doorbell ring.

In the end, his pants are also done for, because there’s paint all across his ass, _thanks Brent_. But the house feels like it’s theirs now, and Jonny has to admit that he's kind of happy.

 

_SUMMER_

 

Jonny can admit to looking to the internet and a couple of baby books more than a few times to make sure they’re doing what they’re supposed to with Katie so that she’s progressing like she should be. It’s the responsible thing to do. Though he’s learned to try not to worry too much if she’s not following a perfect timeline after many conversations with Katie’s pediatrician.

But sometimes he just can’t help it. Like now, when Katie’s just hit the fifteen month mark and she’s not really walking or talking yet. She’ll crawl all over the place and make sounds that almost sound like words, but she’s just not actually there yet.

He’s been trying to encourage her, but he usually receives stubborn blank stares or laughter and no actual attempts.

“You know this isn’t something we need to worry about yet, right?”

Jonny looks up to find Brent watching him from the doorway. “I just don’t want her to get behind or something, you know?”

Brent nods like he does and comes to join them on the floor. Jonny has another half hour free, so he’s content to keep trying until then. Katie, for her part, is looking less and less amused by him.

After a couple more unsuccessful tries, with help from Brent, he leans back against the couch to let her do her own thing for a few minutes. When he looks over at Brent, he has a funny smile on his face as he watches Katie.

“What?” Jonny nudges his leg against him.

“She just really reminds me of Catherine when she gets that stubborn look on her face. Like her features are mostly Dylan’s, right? But that—” he nods his head toward Katie as she’s working with her toy that involves fitting shapes into the correct holes. “That’s all Catherine.”

They both continue watching her for a while, mostly quiet unless she comes over to give or show them something. In moments like this, Jon can’t imagine not keeping Katie, and missing all of this. She’s not even two yet, but he can already see his friends in her and he loves that. 

 

It’s early, and Jonny is downstairs entertaining Katie while Brent is upstairs getting ready for work. They’ve been playing with some of her toys on the coffee table, and she’s been using the table for support while she stands every so often. That’s what Jonny’s been watching her do, until she suddenly takes one hand off the table and starts to turn to the side. 

“Brent!” He yells out. “You’ve got to get down here!”

He can already hear footsteps as Brent calls back, “what?”

“Hurry! I think she’s going to walk.” She’s taken her other hand off and she looks like she’s going to start moving any second now. Jonny’s a couple feet away on the floor in front of her, waiting.

He hears a curse and the sounds of Brent’s feet moving faster. “Don’t let her start until I get down there!”

“How?” He responds, sliding a little closer to Katie.

“I don’t know!” He can hear Brent coming down the stairs now, at least. “Stall her.”

When she starts to move one foot forward Jonny quickly scoots his way over to her and puts a hand over her stomach to try to keep her in place. “Hold on. Brent is slow. You’ll learn this.”

She starts to move her feet again and Jonny keeps his hand over her stomach to try to stop her, but she must lose her balance or something, because she ends up back down on her butt. And she starts crying.

That’s what Brent walks in on. Katie on the floor crying with Jonny helplessly trying to console her.

“What happened?” He leans against the doorway, a little out of breath.

“I don’t know! I was trying to keep her still, but she lost her balance or something and she fell. And now she’s crying—fuck.” If parental instincts are actually a thing, Jonny is really doubting that he has any.

Brent comes between them to scoop her up. “Aw, what did that bad man do?” He coos at her as he walks her around to calm her down.

Jonny thunks his head down against the floor. “You’re not funny.”

He spends the next day worried that he’s somehow traumatized her from trying to walk again, to the amusement of Brent, and the pediatrician. Again.

But the next night while he’s at work, Brent sends him a video. The first couple of seconds are just Katie standing up on her own with Brent encouraging her to come toward him, and then she actually starts walking and he full on cheers. Jonny’s just glad he’s back in the kitchen alone so that he can watch it about five times in a row without anyone there to judge him.

His response includes about a billion exclamation points and thumbs up emojis, but Brent is just as excited in his reply and they go back and forth like that for a while before they need him up at front, and then his phone gets passed around to everyone who wants to see. He catches himself still smiling as he starts the drive home later. 

 

It’s mid-July, and Jonny’s had one of his best days with Katie yet. One of the neighbors had invited them over to their pool a couple of times, and they hadn’t taken them up on yet, but Jonny decided to finally give it a try. It was partly because he wanted to see how Katie would react to it all, she seems to love bathtime and water in general, but he did have a cousin who flipped out whenever he was put in anything larger than a bathtub so Jonny was curious. It was also partly because those tiny bathing suits are adorable and he kind of wanted an excuse to put her in one of the ones they bought for her.

He was more than a little nervous when he started to lower her down in the water into her pool float, because he’s learned how to better handle her freakouts, but it’s even less fun with other people around watching him try to handle it. Especially with a bunch of moms around to judge him. They had the potential to rival the Grocery Store Incident of May.

But when Katie hit the water she was totally calm. Jon remained near frozen for a few seconds, waiting to see if that would change, but she remained calm and he was finally able to relax.

“Not so bad, huh?” He took one of her hands in his and started moving it through the water. She smiled and laughed as she ran her hands through the water and he should have known it would only be a matter of time before she started splashing him. No matter how much it bugged him when Brent pointed out that she was amused by his “grumpy face”, Jonny knew he was right. So every time she splashed him he pretended to scowl and Katie thought it was hilarious, so she kept splashing him and he kept on reacting in the same way until she got tired or it was time to reapply sunscreen.

Her float has a cover he can pull up that seems to protect her face well enough, but he wanted to be safe. Katie has light brown hair and fair skin like Catherine, and she’ll probably burn up in the sun like Catherine did too. So Jonny’s going to keep periodically reapplying until they leave. He’s in the process of doing just that when one of the moms comes over. He’s talked to most of them before, and he thinks her name might be Whitney? But he’s honestly not sure.

“How’s it going?” She slides her sunglasses up and leans against the table next to him.

“Good, doing good.” He can barely take the time to look at her because he still has sunscreen in his hands and if he doesn’t get it on Katie she would probably have it everywhere before he could even stop her.

“That’s great.” Her smile is bright. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m around if you ever need _anything_. So don’t be afraid to ask. Do you have your phone on you? Because I could put my number in for you, just in case.”

“Oh. Yeah, sure.” He fishes his phone out of Katie’s bag because he can’t really think of a good reason to say no.

She hands it back with a request that he says bye to her before he leaves, and Jonny nods with no intentions of actually doing so. He might miss sex, but he’s not going to hook with one of the neighborhood moms.

“You ready to get out of here?” He turns back to Katie and starts gathering up their stuff. Her response is more of a “da” sound than anything else, but Jonny’s willing to accept it as a yes.

 

When Brent comes home that night they’re both in the kitchen. Jonny’s cooking and Katie’s all set up in her playpen nearby.

Brent stops to say hi to Katie as he comes in and he sets his stuff down before stopping in front of the counter. “Is that homemade pasta?”

“Yes,” Jonny responds as he continues stirring.

“And it’s for Katie?”

“Yes,” he repeats.

He turns around when Brent starts laughing. “She’s the only person in the state of Illinois who doesn’t like my cooking, now it’s personal.”

Brent just keeps laughing like the pain in the ass that he is. “Only you would get competitive about a toddler not wanting your food.”

“Hey, no negativity. This is an important moment.” He goes to pull the pot off of the stove.

Brent raises his hands innocently. “Nothing but love and support here from me.”

Jonny rolls his eyes and starts scooping some of the macaroni into a bowl for Katie. This is his moment of truth. Macaroni and cheese is a pretty basic kids food, but it comes down to whether or not she’ll eat _his_.

“Can I stay and watch or should I leave you two alone for this?” Brent is leaning across the counter, smiling sweetly.

Jonny glares at him and pushes at his shoulder with his hand. “Would you just shut up and get Katie?”

He listens and gets Katie in her high chair while Jonny makes sure the pasta is cool enough. When she’s all set he makes his way over and gets a scoop ready. “I promise it’ll be good, okay?”

The look on her face isn’t giving anything away as to whether or not she’ll actually eat it, sometimes Jon can just tell, but when he gets the spoon close enough she just opens her mouth and lets him put it in.

He gives it a few seconds, waiting to see if she’ll just spit it back out, but she just chews and swallows and then looks at him expectantly.

“Oh my god.” He puts the bowl and spoon down on her tray. “Oh my god, she actually ate it. She ate it!” Jonny turns around and Brent is standing there behind him with a wide smile on his face. He launches himself into his arms before he can even think about it, and Brent just clutches back at him.

“Good job,” he says into his shoulder.

Jonny is _so fucking happy_ because he just got his kid to eat his food, and now he’s in Brent’s arms because he just needed to hug someone. This is his life now. And it’s so weird, but he kind of loves it. 

 

Nothing’s going right. Katie won’t stop crying. She’s been coming down from a fever so he was expecting her to be a little cranky, but it’s been _hours_ , and he doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing.

Brent can’t get away from work yet, Sharpy and Abby are out of town, and there’s nothing more the pediatrician can do for him. And there’s not really anyone else available he wants to see him like this. He’s almost reached his desperate times mindset, where he would consider calling Brandon and Andy because they’ve definitely seen worse, but he’s afraid that might end with all four of them crying.

He’s desperately wishing his mom could be here right now. He’s already called her, twice. Her voice was calming to him at least, but the soothing techniques she had didn’t do anything for Katie. 

He’s sure she’ll have to tire herself out eventually, and she finally does enough to at least stay still and let him hold her. He’s sitting in the rocking chair in her room, holding her against his chest while he slowly rocks back and forth. He started singing to her in a low voice and she’s quieted almost completely, but he stays there like that until she actually goes limp in his arms before he even tries to put her in her crib. Jonny stands slowly and kisses the top of her head before he lowers her down in the crib.

Instead of leaving the room he sits back down in the chair and gives it a few minutes, making sure she doesn’t wake right back up. After she stays asleep for a while he decides to go downstairs, baby monitor in hand.

He hasn’t actually had time to eat anything so he pokes around in the fridge, but nothing sounds remotely good right now, so he just grabs a beer and sinks down onto the kitchen floor. That’s where he still is when Brent comes home.

“Jon, are you okay?” He stops just in front of him.

“Yeah, fine.” He isn’t fooling Brent or himself, but he doesn’t know what else to say.

He watches Brent’s eyes mover over him. “How long have you been down there?”

Jonny looks around him. He honestly has no clue. He doesn’t even know where his phone is anymore.

“Come on,” Brent says as he offers a hand out to him.

Jonny sighs and then reaches out to take it. 

Brent gives his hand a quick squeeze when he’s on his feet, and Jonny has to let go and turn around because he feel his eyes starting to sting and he doesn’t want to cry again. He’s really tired of crying. He’s cried more in these past couple of months than he ever did in his entire life leading up to then.

“Hey, you’re not alone in this remember?” He feels Brent’s hand closing gently around his shoulder.

Jonny is tired, and he’s honestly missed the intimacy of being this close to someone other than a one year old who mostly just seems to cry on him or intend to cause some form of bodily injury, so he leans back into the touch and the warmth of Brent behind him without thinking too much about it.

He thinks he can feel Brent’s mouth form into a smile against his neck. “I know you like to be the best at things, but it’s okay to not always know what you’re doing when it comes to all of this. No one has this parenting shit completely figured out, and I’m pretty sure no one would expect either of us to.”

Jonny settles for nodding instead of offering an actual response. These are all things he already knows. No one could expect Brent and him to automatically be the Perfect Parents together, though their friends had still chosen the two of them to be responsible for their kid for whatever reason. He’s been hoping that one day he’ll be able to stop questioning that decision, but for now he’ll keep wondering why the hell Dylan and Catherine thought they were the ones who should be raising their kid. No matter what though, it feels good having Brent there behind him, literally in this particular moment.

Brent’s other hand ghosts over his hip for a moment before he gives him a gentle push forward. “Go get some sleep. I’ll take the monitor to my room tonight. You’re officially off duty.”

“You sure?” Jonny asks, not having moved any further yet.

“Yeah, go.” Brent pushes him forward with a little more force this time, letting the hand he had on Jonny’s shoulder slip down to his back.

“Okay, okay.” Jonny swats his hand back at him and they both laugh quietly.

He’s almost out of the kitchen before he turns back around. “Thanks, Brent.” He knows he’s thanking him for more than taking care of the baby that night, for just being here in this with him really, and he thinks that Brent knows that too judging by the soft smile on his face.

“Goodnight, Jonny.”

 

_FALL_

 

A bunch of them are going over to the Sharps to spend the day, apparently to take advantage of one of the few remaining warmer days in their near future. Jonny suspects it also has something to do with everyone wanting to check up on Brent and him again. They get a lot of calls and texts, but the surprise visits have basically stopped now. He thinks his point might have actually gotten through when he told them they might as well start inviting their case worker along with them.

He likes seeing his friends and he’s glad they have people around them who do want to help, but he’s also at a point where he feels pretty competent around Katie, and if they do need help they can ask for it. Not have it shoved at them when they’re still settling into all of this. But things are better now for all three of them, and he’s looking forward to this.

As he expected, Katie is whisked away from them almost as soon as they walk through the door.

“Well, at least we know we have an unlimited supply of strange people to hand her off to if need be,” Brent says from behind him as they make their way toward the patio.

Jonny huffs out a breath. “What a comfort.”

“Well there’s our new parents,” Sharpy greets them when they come outside.

“Please, we’re probably better at this than you, now.” Jonny teases him back, though he knows that’s probably nowhere near true. He doesn’t think Katie’s really at an age yet where she can adore him, she’s still pretty unsure about a lot of things, but Maddie does adore Sharpy. Abby does too. When he thinks about it, he wants want Sharpy has, and boy is that a scary thought.

Sharpy smiles over at him. “We’ll see what Katie has to say about that.”

They both get drinks and take a seat at the table with Brandon and Duncs. Andy is over by the grill with Sharpy, talking at him nonstop, and Jonny is very glad he invited him along to this.

“I mean, it could be a nice change of pace if you were able to get something other than “da” out of her, and other sounds that are almost words. Or no,” Brent says, leaning back in his chair. She’s at least on her way to talking now, but their encouragement has only gotten them so far.

“What’s she calling you guys?” Brandon asks, and Jonny frowns. They haven’t really settled on that yet.

“We don’t know yet,” Brent answers with a shrug. “I mean, obviously she’s going to know all about her parents one day, but we don’t know if that means we should teach her to call us by our names or just go with some variations of Dad.”

“Well you are her dads, now, technically,” Sharpy chimes in from the grill.

“Yeah, it’s just a little weird still to think of it that way.” Jonny’s reached a place of feeling good about raising Katie now, but the situation will always be kind of weird, and it’s just another thing he wants to make sure that they’re handling correctly.

Andy helpfully starts up a new conversation when they go kind of quiet, something about a movie he just saw, but Jonny comes to regret not really following along because suddenly they’re asking him about his love life, what the fuck?

“So have you been seeing anybody?” Sharpy is sitting across from him now, letting the grill do its thing for a little while. 

Jonny turns away from him in his chair. “Uh, none of your business?”

“Come on, Jonny, we’re your friends. I just want to make sure you’re not neglecting that part of your life.” He’s leaned back in the chair, arms behind his head, and Jonny is suddenly very annoyed. 

“Well I don’t need any help there, thanks,” his voice is tight when he responds with a roll of his eyes. He means for it to be a clear sign for them to let it go, but Sharpy of course doesn’t. 

Sharpy raises his eyebrows. “Are you seeing somebody?”

Jonny can feel everyone’s eyes on him now, and he just wants to be left alone when it comes to this. He can handle any questions about Katie, but he’s always been kind of private about the people he’s dating or sleeping with. If he’s in a relationship he’ll bring them around his friends, but it’s not his favorite subject to talk about, especially when they’re focused on the apparent lack in his love life. So he decides to lie.

“I’m going out with someone this week. Thursday,” he answers with a shrug. 

Sharpy must buy it, because he turns his attention to Brent. “What about you, Seabsy? We could watch Katie and you can both have a night off.” 

Jonny is avoiding looking at Brent, who probably suspects that he doesn’t actually have a date this week. Dating isn’t really something they’ve talked about recently, but they usually tell each other when they have plans for the purpose of knowing who’ll be watching Katie and where the other will generally be.

“Yeah, sure.” He sounds indifferent to the idea more than anything else. 

Andy saves them from any further questioning by calling Sharpy back over. So Jonny finally turns toward Brent, who is giving him a weird look but he doesn’t actually say anything about it.

 

That Thursday night comes with Sharpy showing up as promised to take Katie for the night, and the week going by without Brent saying a word about it until he comes downstairs while Jonny’s spread out on the couch.

“I thought you had a hot date tonight?” Brent stops behind the couch. He’s wearing jeans and a t-shirt, so Jonny can’t tell if he actually does have plans for the night or not. Jonny’s own outfit of sweats and a worn Jets shirt are probably a good indicator that he’s not actually going anywhere.

“Nah, I was just trying to get Sharpy off my ass.” He knew Sharpy was the person most likely to not leave him alone about it, but he thought Brent wouldn’t really care.

“Maybe you should.”

Jonny turns around to look at him now. “What?”

“Date,” Brent answers with a shrug.

“Do you really want to bring someone into all this?” He’s sitting on the couch with evidence of the child he’s raising apparent all over the place, and his buddy that’s helping him raise her standing there behind him. It’s not exactly ideal circumstances for finding someone to get into a relationship with, and Jonny’s okay with that. Everyone else in his life apparently is not.

“No, but you don’t have to,” he says matter of factly, like there’s a simple solution to the problem.

Jonny doesn’t have to think too much to figure out what he probably means by that. “What, you want me to just hook up with somebody? Don’t worry, I’m fine.”

Brent runs a hand through his hair, looking more at the TV than Jonny. “I know, I’m just saying, if you ever want a night off or something. That’s cool.”

“What about you?” Jonny challenges.

“What about me?” Their eyes meet again, and Brent holds his gaze this time.

“Are you seeing somebody?” Jonny knows he isn’t, and for a lot of the same reasons.

“No.” He’s leaning forward on his hands pressed against the back of the couch now, and Jonny is suddenly aware that they’re a lot closer than they were when this conversation started.

Jonny shifts back against the arm of the couch. “Then same goes for you.”

“Noted.” He’s expecting that to be the end of it, but then he asks, “Do you want to go out tonight? I mean, Sharpy has Katie no matter what we do so, might be nice to get out of the house for a while.”

Watching TV was really the only thing he had planned for the night, so yeah, it might not be a bad idea to actually go out and do something. “Yeah, okay, let’s go.”

 

“You know, when I suggested doing dinner I didn’t mean that you had to cook it for us,” Brent says as Jonny turns the key in the lock and then pushes open the door to Per Se.

“I know, but it just seemed like a good idea? I haven’t cooked for you in a while, and you haven’t been in here since—I don’t know, when we opened, maybe?” He started turning the lights on. “And it’ll be quiet. Quiet sounds good right now. But,” He looks back at Brent again. “We can still go somewhere else if you want to.”

“No,” he shakes his head. “This is nice. I just didn’t want you to have to feel like you’re at work tonight.”

“Don’t worry, I like being here when it’s like this. I promise.” Looking around, Jonny really does like the feel of the place when it’s quiet like this. It’s part of the reason he was able to adjust a little easier to having to come in earlier so he can be around for Katie at night.

Brent appears to accept that, because he comes further inside and starts looking around as he follows Jonny back to the kitchen. “You have some construction going on here?” He asks as they have to pass by the tarp.

“We did. It’s an expansion thing, but it’s on hold for now.” He’s trying to gloss over it, because this is one of the few things he hasn’t really talked to Brent about and he still doesn’t want to get into it.

“Why?” He’s looking around at everything, a little distracted, which Jonny is going to try to take advantage of.

“It’s just not a good time.” He shrugs it off. “Okay, dinner. I think I pretty well know what you like by now, so are you good with a surprise?”

“Yeah, go for it. Can I help with anything?”

Brent’s not terrible in the kitchen from what Jonny’s seen in the past, but he hasn’t cooked for someone like this in a while, and there’s always next time. Maybe in their own kitchen.

“No, you don’t need to. You can just watch if you want.” Jonny is pulling out the skillet he’ll need before he starts gathering up the ingredients.

“Won’t object to that,” Brent says as he sits on one of the stools in front of the counter.

Jonny has his phone quietly playing music for some background noise, and for a while it’s just the sound of him cutting and chopping and the contents of the skillet sizzling while Brent watches him work.

“Do you follow a recipe or anything?” He asks, sounding genuinely curious.

“Not with stuff like this. With things I’m familiar with I can kind of just judge for myself and know when it’s right, but I have books full of them.” Most of recipes feature margins full of his own notes, something that made Brandon Saad’s eyes widen about three sizes the day he first saw them.

When he knows it’s getting close to being done he sends Brent off to set up one of the tables and grab some wine. Jonny meets him there with two full plates. “It’s Steak Diane and _Aligot_ ,” He says as he puts the plates down. “Kind of simple, but it’s pretty good.”

“Yeah, it smells good.” 

They sit down across from each other and Brent starts pouring the wine into both of their glasses. Jonny picks up his silverware after Brent put the bottle back down, but he’s waiting on Brent before he actually starts to dig in. He knows he isn’t picky and he didn’t exactly cook anything unordinary, but then again, he also wasn’t expecting a one year old to reject his cooking and Katie more than proved him wrong there.

Brent takes a bite, and Jonny knows he’s openly staring at him now, but he has to know first. “Well, I’m glad our girl is picky,” Brent says after he’s swallowed.

“So it’s good?” Jonny asks to confirm, his own fork still hovering in his hand over his plate.

“Of course. Look at this place, Jonny.” He gestures out with his hands. “You don’t need my approval.”

Jonny just gives him a look, like, _really_?

“Okay, well yeah I know the part of your brain that’s probably going to drive all three of us insane one day does, but I’m just saying you already have something really impressive here.” He has an amused smile on his face, but he seems genuinely impressed by what Jonny has here, and that’s important to him.

“Thank you.” He smiles in return, and it feels kind of like a lame response to what Brent just said, but it’s the best he’s got so they start eating. 

The plates have been pushed to the side and they’ve filled up their glasses again as they’ve been talking, and it’s nice. The two of them have always gotten along well, but it’s different now. He shares something with Brent that he may never share with anyone else. They can relate to each other in a new way. A better way, honestly.

“Do you ever get hit on by some of the moms in the neighborhood?” He’s been thinking about it since that day at the pool, but he never actually asked.

Brent nods, knowingly. “Oh yeah, all the time.”

“Huh.” He’s not, surprised, really? But now he can’t help but wonder if that means anything. It shouldn’t matter, if it does, who Brent has sex with isn’t his business and it shouldn’t bother him. Except for the way it actually does.

“Which one got to you?” He asks before taking another drink.

Jonny’s forehead creases up as he thinks back on it. “Whitney, I think?”

Brent laughs quietly and shakes his head. “Why do you think they kept trying to get you to come over there? The motives were not pure, Jonny.”

“Oh god.” He hides his head in his hands against the table as Brent continues to laugh at his pain.

When he looks back up at Brent, his mind just circles back to all those women hitting on him. He has to ask. “Have you ever, uh, actually—with any of them?”

“No, definitely not,” he answers seriously. “I haven’t really hooked up since we got Katie, you know?”

“Yeah, me neither.” Jonny’s eyes drift back down to the table. 

They’ve skirted the edge of this, the feeling that _something_ could happen between them any minute if they let it, more than once now. Though Jonny still doesn’t know what exactly that something would entail. Could they still just have sex, without it meaning anything? He doesn’t think so, and if Brent doesn’t either, the tiptoeing could continue. 

But the longer he thinks about it, the more he needs to know one way or the other. They have to do something, it’s probably the only way to either make this charged feeling between them go away or turn it into something more than that. He has to say something to Brent, put his intentions out there and see what happens.

When he tilts his head back up again, Brent is already looking back at him, and Jonny can’t bring himself to open his mouth and say what he wants to. Neither of them look away as the silence drags on, and Brent’s eyebrows pull together in a way that makes Jonny wonder if he misread this and Brent doesn’t want anything more between them, but he eventually asks, “do you want to go back home?”

His tone is mild, casual, but they’re still looking at each other and Jonny wants to believe that he means something more than just going home.

“Yeah, let’s go.” They push back their chairs and stand up, then Jonny goes to grab their coats.

Brent pauses as Jonny hands his over. “Do I need to help clean up or anything?”

Jonny shakes his head as he starts to open the door for them. “Nah, Andy will be in tomorrow morning and I’ll send him a text about it. He won’t even object because he still feels bad about letting Katie sit that close to the edge of the counter.”

Brent lets out a burst of laughter. “Are you still guilting him about that?”

Jonny smiles brightly as he follows him out onto the sidewalk. “Every time Katie gets brought up.” She wasn’t even hurt, it was just almost a close call, and Andy started apologizing so hard Jonny thought he was going to hurt himself. But if he has something to hold over Andy for a little while, he’s going to take advantage of it. He’ll let it go soon enough.

“You’re terrible.” Brent’s laugh is quieter now, and Jonny finds himself drawing in closer.

“You don’t have to spend your days with Andrew Shaw,” he retorts. 

“No, I get you instead.” Brent hand comes up to curl around Jonny’s wrist, pulling him just that bit closer. 

“And you’re lucky for it.” They’re close enough that Jonny barely has to lean forward to connect his lips with Brent’s.

Brent uses his hold on Jonny’s arm to pull his hand around his waist while Jonny’s other hand grips at his jacket. They keep it down to a few open mouthed kisses before they pull back. There’s no one else around, but Jonny’s ready to go home.

“We should go,” Brent suggests, with his hand still on Jonny’s arm and his eyes searching his face for an answer.

Jonny hopes that everything about him right now says _yes_.

 

When they make it to the house, they start losing clothes as soon as they get inside the door. Jonny has Brent’s jacket off and he’s working on his shirt, fingers moving quickly over the buttons. 

“We should probably go somewhere upstairs, right?” He can feel the tickle of Brent’s breath against his skin while he’s paused in kissing along Jonny’s jawline.

“Yeah.” _One more button_ , he has to deal with one more button. He resists the urge to do something like pump his fist when he gets the last button undone and pulls the shirt down Seabs’ arms instead. “Yeah, let’s go.” He definitely doesn’t want Sharpy to come back and see evidence of anything downstairs. It would probably take him about two seconds to somehow figure it out and even less time for his commentary on the situation to begin.

They make it about halfway up the stairs before Jonny has Brent up against the wall, starting a slow grind of his hips as he works his tongue into Brent’s mouth.

“Jonny, come on,” Brent urges him on with a nip at his bottom lip before he forces him out of his space enough to move away from the wall and pull Jonny the rest of the way up the stairs with him. Jonny lets himself be led along, because he doesn’t even care where they end up he just wants to get his hands all over Brent like five minutes ago.

He’s led through the door and pushed down on the bed before he looks around enough to realize where they are. “We’re in their room.” Jonny props himself up on his elbows.

Brent rolls on his side to lay beside him. “Yeah, I guess we are.” He looks around the room before he turns to Jonny. “Do you want to go somewhere else?” Brent looks suddenly unsure for the first time that night, and despite the fact that Jonny hasn’t even set foot inside this room since they moved in, Brent is beside him and they’re doing this and he doesn’t want to be anywhere else.

“No, I’m okay here.” Jonny turns on his side to face him completely. “And I think they’d be kind of proud.”

That has the desired effect of pulling a laugh out of him. “Yeah, they probably would.”

They’re both smiling as they lean in to kiss again, and Jonny knows this will be different than how it’s ever been between them before.

They start shedding the rest of their clothes, throwing anything anywhere off to the side until they’re down to their boxers and Brent is hovering over him. He kisses Jonny again, once, teasing, on his lips before he moves to his jaw and continues the trail of his mouth down his neck. His lips move down the center of Jonny’s chest until he reaches hips. He pauses, fingers brushing over the last bit of fabric he has on, to look back up at Jonny’s face. Brent raises his eyebrows as if to ask, _okay_?

Jonny nods, quick. “Yes, please.”

One of Brent’s hands runs gently down his thigh, sliding underneath him to get him to lift his hips so he can pull his boxers down and off.

Jonny’s propped himself back against the pillows so he can watch, but once Seabs gets his mouth on him his eyes close immediately and he gets out a quiet, “fuck” before he becomes less coherent.

 

Sharpy, mercifully, texted them to say that Katie was asleep and they could just keep her there for the night if they wanted them to. They decided to take him up on that, because the last thing Jonny wanted was to go over to Patrick Sharp’s house that night and have him somehow figure out that they’d just had sex. So they picked her up in the morning, and if Sharpy was suspicious of anything he didn’t show it.

They have sex again. And again. But they don’t really talk about it. Every time Jonny’s decided to try, kissing Brent again just seemed like the better option so he did that instead, but this is exactly what he told himself he wouldn’t be doing anymore that first night before they started this. They have to lay all their cards on the table and figure this out. 

So when they’re making out on the couch while Katie is sleeping, Jonny forces himself to break the kiss and say, “we should stop.” Brent’s eyebrows raise in response, but his hands go still against Jonny immediately. 

“Every time I think about it, I just can’t help but think about how things could get screwed up, and how much they would hate us for putting their kid through that,” Jonny confesses with a sigh.

Brent pulls back enough to really look at him, but one of his hands is still resting on Jonny’s thigh, and he feels like that’s supposed to mean something. Brent won’t brush him off about this, though that’s always been an important part of their relationship, and one of the things that originally made Jonny think they might be able to do this. They always try to hear each other out. “You know they didn’t just put the two of us _together_ as her guardians for no reason.”

“I know, but this probably isn’t exactly what they had in mind.” He gestures between their bodies. The last thing they probably wanted out of Jonny and Brent as parents was buddy fucking, though he’s sure this has to be more than that given their current circumstances, but still. He doesn’t want to feel like he’s just letting them down. It really was seeming more and more like an all or nothing sort of thing.

“Probably not,” Brent agrees. “So let’s start dating.”

“What?” Jonny leans back in surprise. He was too caught up in worrying about this conversation going another way to really think about Brent wanting the same thing. “Are you being serious?”

“Of course I am. Let’s go out again, and see if there’s anything beyond this.” He gestures between the two of them in a way similar to what Jonny did, and he knows exactly what he means. He’s always been physically attracted to Brent, but he’s never really thought about him in a romantic sense until recently, and Jonny was kind of worried about that being heavily influenced by the whole coparenting thing. It was probably only natural to start thinking about someone that way when you saw them taking care of your child all the time, when you shared that child with them. So yeah, they needed to find out if this was for real or if it was just some combination of being attracted to each other and loving Katie that probably wouldn’t be sustainable.

So they start dating. They have several successful outings that all at least end with the two of them in bed together even if no sex is actually had because a crying Katie will wait for no man. There’s also a painful conversation with the Sharps when their babysitter bails last minute and they have to cave and tell them they’re dating each other, but by the end of it they both seem genuinely happy for them. And a very awkward visit with Sid where they have to explain their current situation, and he accepts it with a lot of nodding and blank expressions, and notes. _How could the fact that they’re dating now require so many notes?_

But they’re dating, and it’s working, and they kind of stumbled into having this family but that’s what they are now. They’re a family.

 

_WINTER_

 

Jonny likes to think that he was never really bad at picking out clothes for Katie, he can recognize when something looks cute, but that has yet to stop the women in his life from trying to make him more aware of the things they should be buying. Abby helpfully sends them both links to outfits online from time to time, and his mom has sent him at least a few catalogues with items circled with a note that reads ‘just some things I thought she would look cute in’.

So when they’re opening gifts on Christmas and Jonny gets to show off how cute the new stuff he picked out for Katie is with the approval of everyone around him, he’s feeling pretty satisfied with himself.

Sharpy comes over to stand beside him as Jonny’s watching Brent show Katie how to use her new toy. It lights up and plays music and every time she turns to Brent to ooh and ah over the sounds and colors he oohs and ahs right back at her, and she’s tried to whack him with the thing more than once but every time she does he just laughs and distracts her by pressing the different buttons again. 

“You know what you’re doing here yet?” Sharpy passes him a mug.

Jonny looks between Seabs and the giggling child he has his arms around and smiles. “No clue.” 

Later that night when they’ve just gotten Katie down for bed and they’re alone for probably the first time that day, Brent takes Jonny by the hand and starts leading him through the house. Jonny assumes they’re going to bed, but they stop in the doorway leading into the living room.

Before Jonny has time to ask Brent just tilts his head up, drawing his attention to the mistletoe hanging above them. Neither of them put it there. It was his mom’s doing, she came to visit with some decorations of her own just in case they hadn’t decorated the house to the extent that she qualifies as “enough”.

He brings his hand up to Brent’s neck, running his fingers through his hair. “Merry Christmas, Brent.” Jonny looks into his eyes and feels all of his own affection and fondness being directed right back at him. 

“Merry Christmas, Jonny,” he says as he leans down to kiss him.

 

Jonny’s sitting on the floor with his laptop and some papers spread out in front of him, trying to figure out the price range for the expansion. He was willing to let it go for now and wait for a better time, but after Brent found out about the situation he wasn’t having it. So now they’re arguing back and forth about Brent taking on most of the expenses around the house temporarily while Jonny gets through the expansion, because he isn’t sure that he wants to agree to that. But he did promise to at least figure out a range for how much he would need to put into it, so he’s working on that while Brent is out for a run.

He hears the sound of a phone vibrating and reaches for it, without even realizing it isn’t his until he reads the text that’s popped up on the screen.

_Brent! Congrats on the new job, dude. We’ll miss you around here but you’ll kill it in NYC._

_What the hell?_ He drops the phone like it’s burned him, partly because he wishes he could pretend he had never seen that in the first place, and he knows if he held it any longer he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from unlocking it to see more things he wasn’t supposed to.

Jonny does everything he can to stay calm and not react until Brent gets back. He can’t be taking a new job in fucking _New York_. It has to be a mistake. He would have told him. They haven’t explicitly said they’re in a relationship now or anything, but there’s something between them. More than Katie, and more than just sex, Jonny hopes.

“We need to talk,” he says as soon as Brent walks in the door.

“Sure. What’s up?” His response is casual, he hasn’t seen Jonny’s face yet, the concern that’s probably all over it.

Jonny waits until he comes back from the kitchen with a water bottle to start. “Look, I wasn’t snooping through your phone or anything, but I heard it vibrate and I thought it was mine so I grabbed it. And I saw something about a new job. In New York.”

Brent’s eyes widen in surprise and he moves quickly to sit beside Jonny on the couch. “Shit. Sorry. But it’s not like that, I promise,” he assured him.

“So you don’t have a new job in New York?” Jonny pulls up one of his knees to keep some space between them. He needs confirmation that it’s not true, and if it is, then he doesn’t want Brent anywhere near him.

Brent shakes his head. “No, it was just an offer. I just said I’d take some time to think about, because I guess I’d be stupid not to. But I’m not taking it, I’m not leaving.”

“You could,” Jonny says quietly, not looking at him.

He frowns. “What?” 

“You could take the job,” Jonny tells the floor.

“No, I don’t want to. Not when it means that you can’t come with me. Because I know you can’t just up and leave the restaurant and I wouldn’t ask you to.” Brent’s hand fidgets against his leg, but he doesn’t reach out to touch him.

Jonny brings his head up again and he angles his body toward Brent. “I don’t want to hold you back.” He means that, and he wants him to know it. He can’t even imagine what it would be like if Brent left, but Jonny’s not going to beg him not to if he wants to take this opportunity.

Brent sighs, his hand clenching up. “You’re not. We’re in this together, remember?”

Jonny hears what he’s saying, but all he can think about is how this could turn into something that might tear them apart in the future. Brent could end up resenting him and Katie. It would still hurt if he left now, but it would be better than having to go through it five years from now.

Brent’s hand finally reaches out to take Jonny’s, and he makes sure Jonny is looking at him as he speaks. “Jonny, just listen to me. I like my job, but I love Katie. I love you. That’s more important to me.” He gives his hand a reassuring squeeze and he keeps holding on.

“Okay.” Jonny lowers his knee back down. “Okay.” He moves forward to get closer to Brent, pressing his face against his shoulder as their hands remain twined in between them. His other hand grabs the fabric of Brent’s shirt and he gives him a little tug until Brent brings his other arm up to wrap around Jonny’s back and they’re practically enveloped around each other.

The position is awkward with couch cushions beneath them, so they have to move sooner rather than later, but when Brent’s seated back in a normal position he tugs Jonny over with him to straddle his lap.

Jonny leans down to kiss him, slow and easy. “I love you, too,” he says after he’s pulled away, brushing Brent’s hair back away from his face with his fingers. “I really don’t want you to go anywhere.

Brent’s hand circles around Jonny’s forearm and he lets his fingers slide up until they’re just below his wrist. “I won’t.” His lips press against the skin there. “I promise.”

 

_SPRING_

 

“So how does it look?” Brent is eyeing Jonny as he lifts the lid on the box.

Jonny takes a moment to look over the cake before he starts to nod slowly. “Good. It looks great.”

Brent breathes out an actual sigh of relief. “Okay, good. You get the candles on there and I’ll go get our girl.”

He hears “come here, Katie Belle” as Brent scoops her up.

Jonny’s laughing when they come back over. “I’m betting on her hating that one when she gets older.”

“Come on, her middle name is Isabelle. It’s cute!” Brent doesn’t pout, but it’s something close to it.

Jonny pats his back consolingly. “Enjoy it while you can.”

Katie starts up an impatient round of “Dada” then so they take that as their cue to bring the cake out to everyone.

They cut the first piece for Katie and Jonny and Brent have both been standing by to make sure she does end up shoving any up her nose or something, but no, she’s taken the opportunity to smear some across Jonny’s face. Brent, helpful as ever, just swiped his finger through some of the frosting and licked it off.

So Jonny goes to the kitchen to wipe the rest off with a damp dish towel. When he turns back around, his mom has followed him in there. 

“Maman,” he greets her.

“Family life suits you, Jonathan.” Her smile is warm and Jonny is so glad that she was able to come for this. It feels good to have her see him like this, with something this important to him.

“Yeah, I think it does.” The smile he gives in return is automatic.

She pulls him in for a hug as soon as he’s in reach. “I heard your good news. I’m so happy for you, mon cher.”

There’s no questioning the news she’s referring to, they’ve been telling everyone since they got the call this morning. “Me too, she’s ours officially now.” 

 

It’s late, and they’ve done as much cleaning up from the party as they were willing to until tomorrow, but Jonny makes Brent come back into the kitchen with him.

“I hope this is a fun surprise and not something like ‘here are all these dishes’.” Brent is eyeing him warily, but he still follows him to the kitchen counter, where Jonny tells him to wait.

He pulls a small pink box out of the fridge, hidden away in the back, and sets it down on the counter in front of him.

“What’s this?” Brent asks when Jonny’s lifted the top, looking down at the chocolate cheesecake decorated with a swirling, red number one.

“It’s for us. We’ve made it a year, too. As a family.” Jonny wraps his arms around Brent’s waist, standing behind him.

A year ago he never could have pictured them like this. Together, in love, successfully taking care of Katie. And yet, he’s never felt a stronger sense of belonging in his life.

“Will you let me take this up to bed?” Brent breaks the moment, turning around in Jonny’s arms to face him with a hopeful smile.

Jonny rolls his eyes, but gives him a ‘go ahead’ gesture with his hand.

Brent grins and presses a quick kiss to his lips. “Love you. You’re the best. There’ll be more to come.”

He grabs up the box and two forks and takes off toward their bedroom, and what can Jonny do but follow after him?


End file.
